Greeting, fellow volcanoids!

Lots of excellent news!  My boss (North) didn't have a heart attack when I
mentioned that I'll be gone a whole fortnight during crucial testing
of our main products.  He's matured to the point that he now just files
such information in his high-risk management folder.

I was  waiting for Dessa to enlighten us from the travel pages of the
Oregonian, but I could contain myself no longer, and scoured them myself
with the following results:

(800) 655-4043 Excito
   $429 Belize
   $469 Guatemala
   $419 Mexico City
   $119 Las Vegas

(877) 294-0515 Travel Visions
   $309 Mazatlan
   $349 Puerto Vallarta
   $398 Mexico City
   $450 Guadalajara
   $132 Disneyland

(503) 253-0197 tws@wspan.com Travel World Services
   $459 Belize
   $560 Guatemala
   $430 Mexico City
   $309 Mazatlan
   $349 Puerto Vallarta
   $630 Manila
   [side note: these agents have the following important message that
   I'm sure they'd be delighted that I pass on: "Jesus loves you and me".
   (Funny, I thought the guy was dead.  Maybe he meant that guy in Puerto
   Rico, or in Chelsea?).  End of side note]

(888) 736-8556 Eastern Travel World
   $389 Mexico City
   $549 Guatemala City
   $579 Belize
   $835 Vladivostok

(503) 644-3976 Hana Travel
   $395 Mexico
   $420 Hawaii
   [side note: !!!!Kids fly free!!!!]

(503) 224-6659 Asa Travel
   $386 Mexico City
   $533 Guatemala
   $558 Belize
   $398 Guadalajara
   $113 Cleveland

(503) 624-1849 All Star
   $535 Cancun
   $309 Mazatlan
   $138 Los Angeles

[and just in case (503) 249-8444
Unforgettable Honeymoons]

And, my good buddy, Gabriella, whos parents hail from Chiapas, said she'd
call them to see how domestic flights are priced, for trips like Chiapas
to Yucatan, or to Guatemala.  She was thinking that we might fly to
Guadalajara or Mexico City, and then down to Tuxtla Gutierrez in Chiapas.

She recommends Tikal (long way from anywhere), Bonampak (long hike),
Palanque, San Cristobel, and a cenote 15 miles east of Chich'en Itza.

And, also travel in packs, especially after dark, especially at the ruins,
especially in the company of the Bald Guy, ...

And finally, as previously mentioned, I have a cousin in Mexico City, whom
I shall pry loose from his commitments, and have him show us a good time.

I await comments from Gene, and shall then go and reserve tickets,
sometime after next weekend.  Dessa - call me on the weekend to remind
me to call you this weekend.

OK!  That's the end of the News.  Now for ...

[wait for the thunderous applause to die down...
OK, most people are seated now...
just a few ardent fans...
oh no, he's only chocking on something...
OK, interrupt the remaining hecklers...]

And now for the weather forecast!

Bjarni called, and is negotiating with the Icelandic Fisheries and
Foods to conduct an all expenses paid expedition to study incidents of
Icelandic volcano grunion (Leuresthes singeus buttockus) sightings in
the Pacaya volcano.  Naturally, he'd travel at Easter time during the
peak of their mating season when the females are in heat, and also we
could all support his cause with healing inebriants.

King Carole, of Duckies, Waeschpis, and Possums, won't be present to
officiate, but expects all her humble servants to extend the realm in
any festive manner they see fit, ravished natives notwithstanding.

She sent me a most excellent picture from Argentina of penguins and rheas
gadding about in a field of long grasses.  I'll post a scan next bulletin.

OK, that's the end of the weather forcast.  Now for some late breaking news.

My phone number (753-0634) has been discovered in Pi!  

   The string 7520634 was found at position 31033708 counting from the
   first digit after the decimal point. The 3. is not counted.

   The string and surrounding digits:

   87924944890062529735 7520634 28318157818124953549

Here's part of a conversation me and Holly were having last week that
might help explain some obscure comments I made in the last bulletin:

   I'm now reading a book by the Dalai Lama.  It's pretty interesting.
   I think you'd enjoy it.  I have about 14 million books I think you'd
   enjoy.  Just let me know when you like to start.  (10% special on
   till the end of the month - hurry!!!).

   Dalai is Mongolian for ocean - hmm... Mongolia is an inland state.
   They must think oceans are pretty special since only princes could
   ever actually afford to travel to see one until all the Tibetans were
   kicked out by the Chinese.

   Lama is a three-legged hairy marsupial (whoa!!! way past my bedtime...)
   a kind of Tibetan and Mongolian Buddhism practice.

   OK, I'm off to bed now, but if you feel the presence of the blessed
   one, make sure it's not an oceanic pouched ungulate or something
   hirsutely questionable bobbing about in a large body of water, and
   you'll be well on your way to nirvana.

Jeremy |-)

Astrology corner: I was born in a van, illegally parked at Hollywood
and Vine, under the Woolworth's sign.

Indications: the grunting bum rolls off the sidewalk, rouse late, linger
on aisle 6.