The Goat Song

Goats are clever, Goats are wise
They've got four legs, they've got two eyes
Goats eat anything from fillet steak to oats
They're not as fussy as ferrets or stoats

They can climb, climb high mountains
They don't need crampons or ropes
They're worthy and sturdy
better built than antelopes

Goats are clever, goats are smart
They don't drink cyder and they never fart
Goats wear coats thick and hairy
They don't wear bras, they're not fairies

They can swim, swim wide rivers
They can climb the highest trees
They wear bells around their necks
oooooooooooooohhh... Jealous me.

Goats are clever, goats think big
They're not pooftas', they don't wear wigs
They're more fierce and nasty than any Fegg
They build big nests & fill them with turds

Goats, goats, they're supreme
They live in the wind and rain
How I'd love to be a goat
If I were born again

—John the Botanist (B.Sc. Geology)
(1976)